As we say goodbye to another month I realize that time rolls on no matter what is going on in life, and you either roll with it or get swallowed up by it. This has been a tough month, so many happy things going on, and so many sad things. My heart is both joyous and full of sorrow.
Summer is almost here and the days are getting longer. My children are getting older, and time has begun sprinting.
Time to see some old friends and remember who I am, remember to move forward, remember to love and laugh.
Where do I go from here? Keep working, keep helping the kids live in a world that is ever changing, keeping them prepared for their future.
We went to a funeral this week and I have watched my son’s heart break twice, my daughter once, but it has never been at the same time. The physical pain I feel when I witness this is almost unbearable, though I would never let them know. They are so brave. They, of their own accord, spoke at the funeral. As each one spoke I felt a pain in my heart that I can not describe. It is not just sorrow for their pain, or the mothers want to wish away their pain, it is an actual physical pain I have only felt when their hearts have been deeply broken. Does anyone else feel this?
It brings to mind something someone told me (and had witnessed) – the third function of the heart. The first two are simple, they are in all of the medical books, but the third is beyond science. He told me of a couple that were very in love and committed relationship, however the husband needed a heart transplant. He witnessed their journey through all of the up’s and down’s before the transplant then after the successful surgery they met their doctor once again. This time the wife was still very emotionally present, however the husband was not. He knew his wife and understood they were married, but he literally did not have any emotion towards her good or bad. He did however have emotion towards his flesh and blood children. The doctor pulled my friend aside and said that this happens more often then people think, and he believes there is something to your feelings toward another human and your own heart. Amazing.
Yes, I feel my heart is the same. I feel more then emotion.
My Two Loves 