Well it is February and I will soon be the Mom of a 24-year-old. I can’t believe it! I am now, we will say, between 45-55 and life is good. I have a roof over my head, two thriving kids, and food on the table. Yet some days I struggle with happiness. Why you ask? I am not 100% sure. Maybe it is because the expectations I have for myself are always higher than I can reach. It’s not that I set the bar too high, or are too unmotivated to get there, but each time I almost feel like I always think, “well if you would have done…then you would be that much more…” Why do I do this? Who knows. This year tackling ‘not sweating the small stuff’ is my goal, and tossing that bar! LOL.
In 2016, when I walked away from a job of 21 years I felt better than I had in years. I took a few months to clear my head, and then took a few months to clear the closets, literally. I tossed out so much “stuff” that I realized was really weighing me down, I just didn’t know it until I tossed it. Crazy, right? After I had this cleansing, I picked up a book that really helped shed some light on what I accomplished with this cleaning. The book seemed to be in my head, it was exactly what I was thinking and feeling while doing this “cleanse”! This book helped me see that I wasn’t crazy, which is what some of my family members started to think when I had first started. Now a few of them are doing the same thing. And no, it is probably not the book you are thinking. It was written by a lovely Swedish woman, and I would love to thank her for letting me know I am on a good path of practice. Thank you.
Today I work from home as a project admin/mngr for a company out of a different state then I currently reside. It is different then what I am used to, everything is virtual. I no longer leave the house for work. I have been there for almost a year, and yet I still can’t quite get used to it. I can work abroad, and just take the company issued laptop with me. Most days I try to get house cleaning done in the morning before I start work, and sometimes it is right up to the minute. I am thankful for the job though, it keeps my mind sharp and I have learned so many new software programs, different ways to handle training and how to work virtually. I feel like I am more relevant in the work place. No matter how much you try to get a company to be forward thinking, you still get stuck in their tunnel vision. This job was like a breath of fresh air.
I think this is enough for today. Thank you for reading!
My Two Loves 